Perfect

Most of the conversational topics that The Child brings up range from important world issues and controversial debates like "Why does ice cream taste better in a cone than in a cup?" and "Why did God give penguins wings if he didn't want them to fly?" to "I fink I want to be a twash man when I get big." Which inevitably leads to "Hey Mommy, how comes you're not a twash man?" To which I don't really have a good answer. Especially when I saw what the average salary for a trash technician is. Although it might have something to do with my inability to stay upright while hanging off of the back of a large moving vehicle. But I digress.

I thought that I had fufilled my "wise and comforting" mommy role pretty effectively earlier this week, with our conversations about death and heaven. Like, fulfilled it to the point of not needing to have another one for a long time. My brainz still hurt from that experience.

But after I picked her up from daycare today, we were debating whether we needed a trip to Starbucks, or we needed a trip to Target (the final consensus was that we are gifted multitaskers and could accomplish both without breaking a sweat). As we waited at a red light, Pink's song "Perfect" came on. Not only does my car radio only work sporadically, The Child prefers to use car time to either hold three sided conversations - with herself - or to belt out her own original compositions at alarming volume. So the fact that I could hear the song at all was unusual. I absolutely love this song. It's beautiful, on every level. As MacKenzie chattered in the back, I listened to the bittersweet lyrics and got a little emotional. During one of the final choruses, Pink says "Why do I do that? Why do I do that?" The Child piped up and says, "Why does that lady sound so sad? Why does she do what?" The alarm in the back of my head started screaming - DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER. PROCEED WITH CAUTION. REMEMBER, YOUR CHILD DOES NOT TAKE SIMPLE EXPLANATIONS, AND YOU ARE SADLY LACKING SLEEP.

I've always been a terrible listener.

"Well, babe, the lady is sad because she doesn't like herself. She doesn't see how beautiful she is."

"Why not? Does she need glasses?"

"...kind of."

"Maybe she needs a boot-ful dress."

"Maybe. It's important for her to remember what makes people beautiful. What do you think makes people beautiful?"

"A boot-ful dress. Or a crown."

"...true. But what really makes people beautiful is if they are kind to everyone. If they are happy and smile and make other people happy. It's not always what you wear on the outside, it's who you are on the inside."

"What do you mean, on the inside? You can't see inside people, unless you have an x-ray. You are so silly, Mommy!!"

ABORT MISSION. CUT YOUR LOSSES.
Foolish mommy :).

"If someone has a good heart, and loves themself, and loves everyone, it makes them beautiful."

"I know what's inside your heart, Mommy."

"...okay. What's in my heart?"

"BLOOD!!! It goes boomboomboom out to your hands and then your hands send it back to your heart!"

There are advantages and disadvantages to having a child who wants to know how everything works, as well as advantages and disadvantages to making sure that that knowledge is available to them.

"Okay. That's true. That's true." Scramble scramble scramble.

Okay. Different angle.
"What do you love about yourself, babe?"

"Um...I love everyfing. I am good at puzzles, I am very boot-ful, I tell funny yokes, I sing good songs, I color good pictures..."

"Okay. Good. Good. (This conversation is now obviously completely needless at this point, but my anal retentiveness demands conclusion). It's just always important to remember that Mommy and Daddy think that you are the most amazing person in the world. And it's always important for you to remember how awesome you are. AND it's important to remember that if someone looks different, or dresses differently, or sounds different, it's your job to see how beautiful they are on the inside."

"If someone wears a weird shirt, I think they are silly and I laugh."

"AH HAH!! This is exactly what I mean! Do you like it when people laugh at you?"

"Did I tell a funny yoke?"

"No."

"Then no I don't, Mommy."

"You know how sometimes you get worried to wear your pajamas to Starbucks on Saturday morning because you think people are going to laugh at you?"
(And yes, I realize that I have a Starbucks problem. There are worse problems to have. THERE ARE. Go be judgy somewhere else :-P.)

"Yes."

"Well, number one, no one would ever laugh at you because I would punch them in the face." (And yes, that's another problem for another time. Stay focused.) "But number two, if anyone ever laughed at you, it was because they aren't trying to see how beautiful you are, inside and out. And that's okay. Because you know that you are beautiful. And you are going to keep seeing what makes everyone else beautiful. Even if other people don't do that."

"Phew. Dat's a lot of work."

"It is. But it's important, okay?"

"Otay."

We pull into the Target parking lot and get out. I know that the discussion has, once again, spiralled out of control. And I know that she probably didn't grasp the whole thing, and that we will have to have this conversation again and again over the span of her lifetime. But as she slips her hand in mine and smiles up at me, I am struck by how beautiful she is. It comforts me that she knows how valued, and how valuable, she is. And as the local and national news, and our daily lives, are filled with insecurity and bullying, I am going to continue to reinforce what we talked about today.

But first I have to figure out the whole "penguins not flying" thing.